The News-Review

A Service of the News Bureau of the Government of the Twelve Colonies

Archive for February, 2008

Siege Continues, Civilians Hold Off Cylons

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 29, 2008

Our brave citizens have managed to hold off the Cylons, who have attacked the Tylium Queen in wave after wave of assaults. Quorum Member Conell Dagger was killed in the fighting.

Bravely holding their own in shifts and led by Serp Auer and Cobb Compton, the inexperienced citizens struggled against the determined tin men. Auer and Cobb were frustrated at times by undisciplined civilians, including this reporter, who were unaccustomed to following orders.

We knew we were desperate when even our anti-violence minded Oracle, Eyea Aya, saw our fear and reluctantly took up arms herself saying, “I guess it is ok to kill a robot, isn’t it?”

On a very sad note, Tylium Queen XO and Quorum of 12 Representative Conell Dagger died in the siege. Services were held between attacks, with praises from all in attendance. It was very sad for everyone.

We don’t know how long we can hold this up, or when if ever the Pacifica will return. We do what we can hour by hour as the siege continues. We pray they will come back to us soon. Rumors have been circulating that garbled messages have been received saying that they are searching for us. There seems to be no way to confirm these rumors, however.

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter


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Civilians Retreat to the Tylium Queen

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 28, 2008

In a dramatic and desperate move, civilians temporarily escaped from the Cylons when they detonated charges found in a weapons cache on the Tylium Queen.

The battered civilians held captive on the luxury liner, 7th Heaven, suddenly used explosives and guns smuggled in, surprising their captors. They repulsed the Cylons and made their way to the shabby mine ship known as the Tylium Queen. They established defenses and prepared for a long siege in the hopes of saving the children from the monsters, possibly saving many lives.

Captain Weiland and Cobb Compton, Chief of Security on 7th Heaven, the only leadership still known to be alive, lead the military-style effort to hold the Cylons back. Compton planned and managed the details of the successful escape.

All of those aboard the TQ during wave after wave of Cylon attacks were clearly afraid. They hugged each other, swore to fight bravely, shared tears and encouraged each other. Many expressed faith that the heart of our family, the troops on Pacifica, will return to us before the Cylons can destroy us all.

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Cylons Round Up Civilians in Dome

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 25, 2008

The Cylons rounded up all civilians in the dome on the garden level of 7th Heaven. Their skinjob spokesperson is threatening to deprive us all of food until the children are turned over. The whereabouts of the children are still unknown to the Cylons.

There is no sign of Pacifica or River Delta, and it is starting to look like they are lost. The President and the cabinet are lost, as well. Starbuckk Serapis is captured by Cylons, LizzyD Vendetta is missing.

The highest ranking person in command at this time is Windy Weiland, who has asked for calm, saying somewhat cryptically that “we will choose our battles.” She also added, “anyone revealing the location of the kids will be decompressed in an airlock so slowly they’ll wish the Cylons had captured them.”

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Dr. Innis Returned by Cylons

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 24, 2008

Dr. Shaheen Innis, who was captured by Cylons and taken somewhere with her newborn baby Leela, was inexplicably returned to the captured citizens of the fleet. Rumor has it that the Cylons were not interested in the baby, which is not a “hybrid” child.

In another strange set of happenings, captured Cylon defector Lauri Mayfair apparently escaped from Cylon captivity, was able to secure her husband, Ronon Maximus from the Tylium Queen, and they both left for parts unknown in a heavy raider. Maximus is said to have left a note for Cathiee McMillan, but this reporter has been unable to determine what it said.

Meanwhile, civilians are being held captive on 7th Heaven by Centurions, led by Captain Wendy Weiland. No one knows the whereabouts of Pacifica or River Delta, or if our brave military are even alive.

President Halberd and all of the members of her cabinet have been missing since the fleet was overrun, and all are feared dead.

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Pacifica and River Delta Missing, Resistance Continues

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 21, 2008

Civilians are fighting the Cylons as best they can in sporadic outbreaks of resistance. We have no word on the whereabouts of Pacifica or River Delta.

The Cylons gave a demand that we turn over the children, Siri and Ares, and also Cylon skin job Lauri Mayfair. Their time limit of 24 hours has come and gone, and our civilians are resisting valiantly against the evil creatures.

To date, they have not been able to locate the kids and none of their demands have been met. Fight on, brave people! So Say We All!!!!

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Pacifica Separated, Cylons Overrun the Fleet

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 18, 2008

Fleet ships were separated in a desperate attempt to flee another attack. Civilians captured and desperately hoping for a rescue!

Faced with another brutal attack from the Cylons, Admiral Nephilim ordered an FTL. Shortly after, Pacifica and the River Delta successfully escaped, but the rest of the fleet stayed behind, their FTL drives crippled beyond repair.

Heavy raiders attacked the unprotected civilian fleet, rounding up civilians and herding them into Afterburners. This reporter has escaped capture, and has been able to communicate with a few of the captured citizens, which include several captains, Quorum members, and the Oracle.

Captain Weiland, badly wounded in last night’s raid, was captured again and says they are being treated well for some reason. She speculates that the raid last night was to sabotage the FTL drives.

This terrible turn of events couldn’t get any worse. Let’s just hope that Pacifica finds their way back to us soon!!!

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Bizarre Cylon Attack Unexplained

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 18, 2008

A strange boarding of all ships by Cylons ended as soon as it began. Centurions inexplicably over-ran all fleet ships and then left.

Heavy raiders and Cylons came aboard many fleet ships in a massive raid last night, including the Celestra, 7th Heaven, Pacifica and Tylium Queen.

A number of citizens were wounded in the raid, including Captains Weiland and Serapis. Other wounded included Artemus Carthage, Cobb Compton, Makal Krogstad and several pilots.

In a strange turn of events, Windy Weiland learned that she was pregnant when her stomach wounds revealed that she had lost the baby.

No one has been able to explain why the Centurions attacked, or what they wanted on the ships, or why they left.

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Formal Love God Ball Planned

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 14, 2008

On February 14 at 8pm, a formal ball will be held in Afterburners in honor of the love god.

Citizens are encouraged to come to the dome and have fun! Bring a friend, or come by yourself and meet someone new!

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Fleet Fashion Show!

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 12, 2008

Tonight Afterburners was host to I believe the first such event of its kind….a fashion show!  People came from all corners of the fleet to watch the beautiful ladies show some of thier own and borrowed outfits.  I think the offduty marine and Pacifica deckhand had the most fun of the evening…especially when our own President Halberd appeared in something thin and blue.  If that made you curious….good!  You should have been here watching for yourself!


(Eyea Aya, Cathiee McMillan, Paxan Freck, Tanya Halberd)

Afterburners on the 7th Heaven plans to host more such grand events.  So keep your ears open for new of other upcoming events and activities…you never know what you might see!

Ms. Pink, The News-Review 

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Meet the Representatives!

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 11, 2008

During the last election and ceremony that followed…the people got a chance to hear about thier Representatives.  The situation surrounding this “Election” were a bit different.  Still…the people want to know who they are represented by.

So I call for each Representative to answer here…to tell the people who you are, what you stand for and where you may be found.

Please only respond to this post if you a re a Representative and posting your Bio.

Ms. Pink, The News-Review

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Quorum Elections Announced!

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 8, 2008

At long last, the Quorum Elections are complete. Each colony selected their representatives through a variety of means, and the selection process is complete at last. Our new representatives are shown below:

Colony Representative
Aerelon Paxan Freck
Aquaria Dollwife Pink
Canceron Casiopeia Catteneo
Caprica Bigggy Smalls
Gemenon Erianthe Elvehjem
Leonis Ronon Maximus
Libris Cathiee McMillan
Picon Conell Dagger
Sagittaron Gibley Goldblatt
Scorpia Saamia Mahana
Tauron Eyea Aya
Virgon Liana Inshan

Quorum of 12 Representatives, Feb. 2008

Hopes in the fleet are high that they will effectively represent us! Let’s give them all our support!

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Innis Situation Resolved

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 7, 2008

Dr. Innis agreed, through her representative and husband, Anaxamander Barbosa, to a short period of jail time and an extension of her probation.

The charge of resisting arrest was dropped. Her probation period was reset and one additional month was added to bring it to a total of 4 months. She will spend 1 full week in confinement on River Delta. Upon her release her probation will start.

Upon conclusion of the proceedings, Judge Cat Foxchase remarked, ” I hope this matter can finally be put behind us. Ms. Innis faced very serious charges of treason in this matter and during this time of war, and in my opinion, a sentence of probation is very lienent. In this case, ,there will not be another chance.”

Attorney General Derin Swenson, who prosecuted the case, was not available for comment.

Liana Inshan, who represented Dr. Innis in the proceedings, said that she had been asked not to comment on the case by her clients.

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Innis Surrenders

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 6, 2008

In a bizarre series of events, and the strangest manhunt in the history of the fleet, Dr. Shaheen Innis finally surrendered to custody nearly 24 hours after her arrest on probation charges was ordered.

Inside sources revealed today that Innis attempted to dictate lengthy terms of her incarceration to the prosecutor’s office prior to her surrendering. Sources say that her demands were flatly refused by Attorney General Derin Swenson. Swenson would not confirm or deny these allegations.

On another front, it was learned that numerous pleas were made by third-parties to various officials, including President Halberd, for either leniency or clemency. These attempts were also rebuffed, apparently. President Halberd was asked about this and the charges that she lied to Innis, and she directed all inquiries to the Attorney General’s office.

Sources in the fleet military revealed that Innis turned herself in this afternoon amid great fanfare. Officials were told that Innis had been handling a medical emergency at a fire in one of the outer fleet ships. None of the ship’s captains knew of any fires in the civilian fleet, however.

Innis is now awaiting a preliminary hearing before a judge. It is not known whether she will face charges of flight to avoid prosecution, obstruction of justice, or worse.

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Innis Considered Fugitive

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 5, 2008

An arrest warrant was issued for Dr. Shaheen Innis for an apparently minor probation violation, a breaking story that was first reported here in The News-Review.

Innis responded by posting comments in the news that attempted to sway public opinion her way, but somehow managed to avoid arrest. This reporter also learned that she attempted to evade incarceration by saying that her pregnancy should allow her special considerations.

Officials at this time are asking that she turn herself in, and are considering initiating a fleet-wide manhunt. They would not say whether additional charges were being considered for her failure to turn herself in.

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Arrest Warrant Issued for Dr. Shaheen Innis

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 4, 2008

Attorney General Derin Swenson released an arrest warrant for Dr. Shaheen Innis today, citing evidence that she violated the terms of her probation.

Dr. Innis was recently able to avoid a trial on treason charges when she accepted a plea arrangement with the following conditions:

  1. probation for 3 months monitored by ship security officers
  2. relieved as head of civilian medicine
  3. starts cliniic on TQ
  4. not elligible to run for re-election until probation is complete
  5. no hate groups

Dr. Innis, who agreed to these terms, apparently decided to run for Quorum anyway. The arrest warrant was issued this afternoon. Dr. Innis was not available for comment.

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Who is Onyx Syakumi…and have we forgotten ourselves?

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 2, 2008

Yesterday I had the pleasure of an interview with Onyx Syakumi. Many of you know her as the leader of the OPSEC Team. Recently she has taken the temporary role of Marine Commander. Many of you have a distrust of the military and of the OPSEC Team…I hope today to shed a little light upon Ms. Syakumi in the hopes that there will be understanding and an appreciation for the fleets finest.

I started by thanking for her the opportunity and explained my hopes for the interview…she responded skeptically, “I see. I hope that you will forgive my reluctance to believe that, judging by the fact that the most press-worthy accomplishments of my team have been met with silence from the News Review whilst their lesser deeds have been misreported and press the boundaries of yellow journalism and libel.” I was a bit taken abck at her response…but I will admit that it did have a loud ring of truth…and further showed me there is a great rift that needs to be healed.

Recently Interim President Vicky Vielle present people from New Aerelon commendations…Ms. Syakumi was among those to receive them. Some of you may know that she resposed by declining to accept it. I asked her why she owuld turn down such a prestigious commendation…”I asked that the commendation be rescinded because I believe that the manner in which this fleet as a whole has sought to commend the warriors who put everything that they had at risk for the benefit of others has been worse than abysmal. The token gratitude that was expressed in the form of that commendation, in addition to being misplaced, is not sufficient to let this issue rest. Furthermore, the reasons that were cited for the issuance of the commendation do not exceed the requirements and expectations placed upon me as part of my mission parameters. Commendations are to be issued for exceptional honor, glory, or virtue.”

I took her statement not as a slap in the face of the President or of the military…but as a sign that we as a people really do not understand someone with that level of dedication. It seems they do not want commendations…they just want people to understand why they do what they do…”…the animosity that I have sensed in this fleet toward myself, my team, and those outside of it who bled for this fleet has been quite staggering.”

I became aware of a group called the Fleet Defense Foundation that Ms. Syakumi founded herself and I asked her about it, “I am surprised that you have learned of it already. In a large sense, the Fleet Defense Foundation was established as a result of the animosity that I have already mentioned toward members of the military and security forces of our fleet. Its purpose is to rally and unite those who stand between the darkness and the light of our fragile civilization so that we are not continually targeted, abused, and neglected by those who share little understanding of our uncommon valor…The union shall exist solely as a special interest group. We will appoint lobbyists to carry our cases and issues before the Quorum and to the President as a reminder that not only do we exist, but that we are a very large group who takes a collective interest in their voting records.”

As I said before she took the position of Marine Commander….I wondered if it was a permanent position, “My place is with my team. I will restructure and repair the damage that has been done to the Marines, and as things stand currently I will select a successor before returning to my former station.”

Ms. Syakumi came from Scorpia…I asked her how she came to be among the fleet and if she came with her team or had formed it after, “My team was in the midst of a military exercise upon Scorpia when the cylon attack was initiated. We were outside of the inhabitable zones created by the detonation of their nuclear weapons, due to the remote nature of the operation. For quite some time we were cut off from our command infrastructure and left to our own devices in the wastelands. We conducted a campaign of discretionary warfare against the cylons for some time before learning of the existence of survivors beyond the colonies. We were only able to locate and unite with the fleet some time later, after securing transport and jumping out of colonial space with the other survivors that we were able to secure before departing.” Like all of here we have lost loved ones…some lost many and some only a few…Ms. Syakumi is among those who lost few, “My team is my family. In that respect, I was more fortunate than most…I have spent more time with them than in my adolescent years with my biological family…”

I opened up the interview to get a sense of what she wanted…what truly drove her, “What I would like to see and what is realistic may well be two different things. If it were my decision to make with the blessing of some divine intervention, I would love nothing more than to be the pike upon which the cylons were skewered, hoisted, and allowed very slowly to die. More realistically, however, OPSEC Antares belongs where it is right now: as an emergency response team guarding the vitality and welfare of the civilian fleet. I do not anticipate a change from that directive.” And who she was…who is the woman behind that black uniform? I asked, “That tells the readers a little about you…but what would you like to tell us about the woman behind the uniform?” She sat silent for a long time…long enough I was becoming concerned, “Only that as long as she lives that every cylon reading whatever article may come of this interview shall have a reason to know fear, and to know hate. I have long since shed all but the most basic necessities of humanity. I would not truthfully know how to tell you what lay behind the uniform, save the steel.”

And in closing words of this article and of my interview with her, she said this…”Only that right now, the only sentience that knows the truth of what happened upon New Aerelon are the cylons and the warriors who most of them have forsaken. That that truth shall soon be spoken, and that the members of the military who served, and bled, and died upon that world for all of them shall be honored for the sacrifices. I would tell them that petty congratulations and meager toasts at social gatherings do not make up for the slander, and the bile, and the vitriol that they express toward those who wear the uniform. There are those within this fleet who have come to believe a lie that they have told themselves. That lie is that deep down, they believe that we are relics of a bygone era of armed conflict … that we are no longer necessary. The truth from that lie is that those who pick up a weapon and stand a post do so with the utmost sense of pride and selflessness for their sacrifices. They do it so that all of those who have the luxury of being snide behind their backs and …
questioning the means through which they provide that freedom may continue to enjoy it.

Ms. Pink, The News-Review

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President Halberd Announces Cabinet Positions

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 2, 2008

President Halberd and Vice President Vielle moved quickly to name the cabinet members that will work with their administration. President Halberd said that the two prepared their selections throughout the week, and were grateful that such a wonderful compliment of skilled citizens agreed to serve.

President Halberd was quick to point out that the list was not necessarily exhaustive. The cabinet members named so far are:

  • Press Secretary – Kiltcheck Douglas
  • Secretary of Science – Doctor Jiminy
  • Secretary of Health and Human Services – Stacia Zabeleta
  • Secretary of Education – Leandrah (Andi) Whiteberry
  • Attorney General – Derin Swenson
  • Secretary of Commerce – Owen Papp

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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Vielle and Halberd Call for Unity at Inauguration

Posted by Fleet News Service on February 1, 2008

Tanya Halberd and Vicky Vielle were inaugurated, with both calling for healing and fleet unity amid tight security. The well-attended event was followed by an elegant gala ball in Afterburners.

Election ombudsman Captain Starbuckk Serapis took the oath from Vice President Elect Vicky Vielle, who said the following in a broadcast to the fleet:

While I have served as president of the Twelve Colonies for only a short period, I have learned a few things about the needs and duties of the office that I think we all can learn from. The first is communication. Without this it is not possible to function effectively and to hear the will of the people and to effectively enact the commands that at times must be given. The second thing is teamwork, and having a core of trusted people around you who will help and support and advise, for no one person can hope to be all thinsg to all people and be wise and fair at all times.

Thank you, and Captain Halberd, Good Luck!

Following this message, Serapis took the oath from President Elect Tanya Halberd, who addressed the citizens of the fleet. Her inspiring speech was interrupted several times with applause from the supportive audience:

Tanya Halberd at her inauguration 2/1/2001 as President of the Colonial fleet led by Pacifica.
Vice President Vielle, Admiral, esteemed members of the military, fellow citizens, we observe today a celebration of freedom — symbolizing an end, as well as a beginning — signifying renewal, as well as change. For I have sworn before you and our gods the same solemn oath our forebears prescribed going all the way back to the Lords of Kobol.

Humanity is very different now. We lost much, but we have each other. We have in our mortal hands the power to thrive with our brothers and sisters, and to defeat the vicious enemy that pursues us.

We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of the legacy of greatness that was once the 12 Colonies. Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation, tempered by war, proud of our ancient heritage—and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which our people have always been committed.

We shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

This much we pledge—and more.

To those old allies whose cultural and spiritual origins we share, we pledge the loyalty of faithful friends. United, there is little we cannot do in a host of cooperative ventures. Divided, there is little we can do—for we dare not meet a powerful challenge at odds and split asunder.

In the long history of our people, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility—I welcome it. I do not believe that any of us will fail in our calling to uphold humanity in all its glory. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will shine before the gods.

Our fleet calls us, our people call us, our friends call us. It is up to us to respond with the greatness that is ours individually and collectively. We fight for the freedom of our race.

No matter who you are, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, may the gods bless us all.

Thanks to all of you!

People seemed quite moved by this call for individual responsibility and dedication to the fleet for the sake of humanity.

Following the ceremony, attendees proceeded to Afterburners for a formal ball in Afterburners under the watchful eye of fleet Marines and other security personnel.

Sable Babii – Fleet News Reporter

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