The News-Review

A Service of the News Bureau of the Government of the Twelve Colonies

Cylon ace reportedly killed; Cylons come up empty on separate recon mission

Posted by Fleet News Service on September 17, 2007

7th HEAVEN, September 17 — A lone Cylon Raider was sighted circling 7th Heaven at approximately 5:00 this evening, presumably on a reconnaissance patrol. Captain Tanya Halberd and Lt. Taros Dibou spotted the fighter through the 7th Heaven dome.

According to Pacifica‘s Officer of the Watch, Lt. Marcus Perry, Pacifica‘s turrets made short work of the Raider. No injuries were reported.

While researching this story, I had occasion to speak with Lt. Sazuka “Arrow” Yoshikawa, Heartbreakers XO, who said, “It was probably the new maneuver we invented during a recent battle. We call it the Pacifica Gang Bang.”  Asked to describe this amusingly-titled tactic in detail, she said, “It’s when my wingmen and I lead the Raiders toward the turrets, then fly through the spaces between the cannon and let the toasters get torn up by cannonfire and Viper guns.”

“That’s the one that took care of their ace, too,” Yoshikawa continued.  Earlier today, apparently, the highest-ranked Cylon pilot (nicknamed “Burn”) met its end via the Gang Bang technique.

Well, no one ever said the Fleet’s tactical playbook was kid-friendly reading. But whatever the pilots call the tricks of their trade, let’s hope they keep ’em up…because they work.

Dean Steadham
The News-Review

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5 Responses to “Cylon ace reportedly killed; Cylons come up empty on separate recon mission”

  1. Arrow of revenge said

    all the credit gose to the fallowing

    Argo
    Marcus
    Taros
    Jim
    Sniper

    and of course Burn for being a loveable little raider to test a manuver formed on teh fly. that’s what i’d like to call Karma, and it’s a bitch for how many pilots he killed.

    but without the before named pacifica officers, i’d probley have been killed or worse. so intruth. the whole thing is theres. i’ll take no fame of it.

  2. Arrow of revenge said

    oh and one more, i have to thank captian Diovan Armistic, with out him i wouldn’t be teh pilot i am today.

  3. The Doc said

    You really think that will be the last time we see ‘burn’. Ive heard rumours that they can regenerate or rebuild or something to that effect.

  4. ReGen said

    The Doc’s got a point…think about it. Top Toaster goes out with its buddies, gets torn to pieces…and a few hours later a single Raider comes back to the scene of the crime? Plotting revenge, perhaps?

    Wish we’d gotten a closer look at that recon ship and its tactics…but one thing’s for sure. Burn will be back…

  5. Frosty said

    Yeah, like that one I kept seeing every time I was shot down, and I just KNOW its that same one that nailed me each time. Sucker’s got feeling, I swear, cuz he takes pride in his work pausing to stare at me after I ejected.

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